Dear Reader, we have returned from 2010 with tidings of the future:

It is a bright, near-silly utopia, filled with healthy, beautiful, self-expressed, joyous, and yes, sock-covered feet (regardless of slight mismatching, which has now become the height of fashion). Children run and play freely upon healthy soles; their adoring and sock-wearing parents watching over them with ease and excitement. It is a world that says “Yes” to life, “Yes” to happiness, and “YES” to socks.

In Breaking News: Our valiant founder-and-CEO, Ms. Christina Landers, recently undertook a mission at the Shadow of His Wings Orphanage in Guatemala, during which she delivered Solemate Socks to some 80 orphans. The children (and adults) had a fantastic time choosing and playing with the socks—the trip was a resounding success.

Stay tuned for more: we are now producing a short documentary piece to air on YouTube in the coming months. WARNING: The following pictures and subsequent documentary feature intensely cute children, and may cause excessive fawning and teary smiling.

In Other, But Still Vastly Important, News: We at the Solemate Collective have begun production on a full-scale commercial video for an upcoming viral campaign promoting the cause of the Solemate Collective. At the moment, all we can say is that yes, it involves sock puppets, and yes, it is a love story. Teaser frame from the storyboard:

And in recent events, January 3 was our first Official Sock Puppet Workshop, during which we began creation of the sock puppets to be featured in the upcoming commercial, as well as sock puppet celebrity-look-alikes to perform in the upcoming Sock Puppet Karaoke Party (to be held this Spring, more details to come). The workshop was hilarious, informative and life-altering. It resulted in several completed sock puppet actors/actresses, and successfully avoided consumption by our host’s dogs.

Little known to most, sock puppet creation is a serious art form, originating in ancient Babylon and continuing throughout the late Jim Hensonian era. Without proper instruction, one risks (at the very least) serious ridicule from fellow puppet-masters, and of course, death by glue-gun.

But all joking aside, everyone had an amazing time, and we anxiously await the next Sock Puppet Workshop.

Finally, we want to thank everyone for their lovely, amazing socks you’ve been sending! Keep it up, spread the word—tell friends, neighbors, enemies, and that leprechaun who’s been stealing your single socks from the dryer.

More to come soon regarding more workshops and events!

Much love from all of us at the Solemate Collective, as always.

We are the Solemate Collective.

People have accused us of having a case of philanthropic foot fetishism. We agree.

Our Mission: The Solemate Collective accepts all the “single” socks in your sock drawer, matches them with a mate, then donates united pairs to those in need.

We are the folks who will make your sock drawers clean and nice, so your girlfriends/boyfriends will stop harassing you. And in the same sweet stroke, you can feel awesome about yourself, because you’re giving those lonely socks to people who actually need them! And trust us, people need them. Check this out.

We are firmly of the belief that helping out in your community and the world at large can be fun, crazy, hip, and sexy. Giving and contributing is rewarding and with us, it becomes a week-long party. So get stoked for our launch party, date and invitations TBA.

Based in the Los Angeles area, we are a team of highly trained professionals bringing warmth and love to the feet of the economically disadvantaged. Our operation will be local for our first phase, but plans to expand to helping on a global scale are well under way. Be impressed. And slightly aroused.

And before we forget, please send all socks, checks, money orders, socks filled with gold/money, and letters of praise and gratitude to:

SOLEMATE COLLECTIVE
10008 National Blvd
# 321
Los Angeles, CA 90034

Our immediate goals involve installing drop-off units in laundromats and college dorms throughout the greater Los Angeles area. Updates to come on this soon, as well as YouTube ads, viral campaigns, full-scale monuments, branded personal watercrafts, and a feature film by Peter Jackson starring Gary Oldman. Well, those last few might take a little longer. But they’ll probably happen. Tomorrow.